Brexit: Bacon-Munching Proud Gammons Defending Borders

UKIP Must Modernise, or It Will Cease to Exist

It is the 9th of May 1915. I can feel the ice-cold, wet mud ooze into my worn out, old boots. Other than the light of a soldier’s cigarette in the distance, I can see little in the pitch-black night.

We are positioned just south of the French town of Armentières. This is a dark night though in another sense. Come morning, eleven thousand of us will die as we are ordered over the trenches into German machine gun fire. In 2018, our tombstones stand in Aubers Ridge as a monument to the stubbornness of our leaders.

I’ve expressed to my superiors that we can’t win by this approach, for which they marked me as disloyal, brash, immature, and so on. I’m desperate, frustrated – we are going to die, and for no advance forward of our line. Thousands will fall for no reason but stiff necks.

Sixty years ago, we experienced similar in Sevastopol. The Russians said, “L’armée anglaise est une armée de lions, commandée par des ânes.” Will our leaders forever repeat the same errors, achieving Einstein’s definition of a fool? We are being sent to certain death, because our leaders, “the Donkeys”, reject the machine gun, the tank, ungentlemanly sabotage, guerrilla warfare.

Years later, in another conflict, WW2, they will look down on the Bletchley Park hackers. Those nerds in WW2 were disregarded as silly kids ranting about some new toy; but fortunately they persisted with their work cracking the Enigma machine, and that won the war!

Hindsight! My brothers, please, let us learn from the follies of the past. UKIP can be the opposition in this country, we can take the North, but we must stop using conventional campaign methods! The People’s Army must be open-minded!

Imagine if the SOE had been blocked by Churchill as unconventional! Stop being so rude about our Brexit and other rallies, and join in! Brothers, none of us can afford to be proud or stubborn. And stop lying we have poor judgement; it is we who had to convince you to revise your inappropriate line-up of speakers for the youth conference.

Now, if you face thousands of well-trained, well-equipped, well-funded soldiers, opposite you on No Man’s Land, you do not take them head on. That would be pure folly! Certain death. This is not Rorke’s Drift, because our enemy has the rifles, while our leaders demand we throw spears. We need UKIP to embrace modern technology; to have some of the innovative spirit of Bletchley Park.

Why are we focussed on getting 700-odd paper candidates? We can’t win all those seats. As for the statement that such shall achieve a national broadcast, that’s irrelevant when in 2018 people have adblockers installed on their browsers, or they will be making tea during an advert break, or in the bathroom! This is the digital age! We are going to get slaughtered because we are using 1950s tactics.

Instead of a thousand spears, invest in one machine gun, NationBuilder, perch high in a tree, and you shoot the enemy’s general, or king. Get a tank – use Facebook and YouTube to cut through enemy lines and get the truth to the people. The Party found in days £175,000 for the Jane Collins case fees, but it can’t find a fraction of that amount to invest in provisions for the People’s Army. Get the right tools, strike the correct target, and the left will fall into disarray. We can win!

We must embrace guerrilla propaganda tactics! Get in that tree! Choose a few key seats, one local issue other parties ignore, and focus your team on them! Call out the Labour/Tory candidate for what they have done wrong. Use NationBuilder to target and mobilise local supporters. Fund targeted adverts on Facebook. It’s better to win one seat, than just cause a quiet noise in 20 wards but win none.

This is how the majority of voters perceive UKIP – we need modern outreach methods to recruit Millennials.

Further, the broadcast won’t have a message to embrace the core electorate aged under 50 years of age. The most urgent need is the provision of a clear ideology to unite the Party’s factions, and draw in younger members, so we can do real activism! The Party must stop looking down on Millennials – we are not teens; we are working adults; some of us have children, and mortgages.

We must modernise our campaign methods. The battlefield is social media. We must invest in NationBuilder. Imagine WW1 soldiers are shown the machine gun, but they reject it because learning new ways requires effort!

Some in the corner lament the days of the typewriter, I mean, hand-to-hand sword battles. They talk of their experience in the Anglo-Boer War. It’s time for them to humbly retire, or at least, delegate, and properly without micromanaging!

The success of this Party depends on a number of factors, including to replace staff who refuse to learn how to use 21st century campaign tools. Passing anti-entryism rules on the NEC to block Millennials won’t save your precious titles; you are fighting for cabins on the Titanic as it goes under.

Imagine those who propose use of tanks to break enemy lines are silenced as young upstarts with no experience of life. To the few senior individuals sending us snotty messages telling us to stop our work on YouTube: instead of this paranoid protectionism of your precious titles we don’t even want anyway, work with us.

UKIP, decide – continue as before, send men over trenches into machine gun fire, and experience a massacre this election, or embrace new methods, crack the Enigma code!

(Articles reflect the views of the author, and not necessarily those of Luke Nash-Jones, The Red Pill Factory, or Make Britain Great Again.)

Most Popular

To Top